


when your body’s broken, love, your heart is helpless

by unsaved_misc



Series: danger au [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, supermega
Genre: Angst, Danger AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Recovery, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24874885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaved_misc/pseuds/unsaved_misc
Summary: carson is not doing well.danger au: ryan finds a book and discovers that whatever he writes in it comes true. he becomes obsessed with the book, and matt and carson start to notice.
Relationships: Carson Tucker/Matt Watson
Series: danger au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887319
Kudos: 6





	when your body’s broken, love, your heart is helpless

**Author's Note:**

> aaaa!!! i love my danger au sm i was so ready to write this :)) basically the events of the au have passed (the book has been destroyed and ryan is back to normal) but this is about the trauma afterward and the pieces matt and carson have to pick up.

matt wouldn’t lie, carson scared the fuck out of him when he woke up. he was in a dreamless, dark sleep, one that had taken a lot of frustration and work to finally drift off without having a panic attack, when he could hear his name faintly being called. his eyes fluttered open, half closed and blinking until he could focus. the room was still pitch black, and matt assumed he hadn’t even slept at all, pissed off at his body and his brain.  
“matt.” he heard his name again, rolling underneath the covers to face the door. he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw the silhouette of a man in the doorway. matt’s first, immediate thought was: ryan. ryan’s back. the book didn’t burn. i wasn’t thorough enough. carson is dead. and i’ll be dead too.  
but when he closes and opens his eyes again, which were definitely not as drowsy as they had previously been, he realizes it’s carson in his doorway, not ryan. relief courses through his body, his shoulders relaxing, and he can feel his eyes starting to adjust again.  
“matt?”  
“yeah?” matt replied finally, running a hand over his face as he tried to make his heartbeat slow.  
“i’m sorry.” carson mumbled. “i just…i got scared.” his voice is even more timid than it usually is, and matt feels like his heart is breaking.  
“it’s okay, cars’, you don’t have to apologize.” matt looks back up at carson, and he can see how nervous and wary the boy looks even 12 feet away. he pats the bed, and carson stumbles forward, padding across the hardwood to take a seat next to matt.  
“i tried to sleep, but the room looked really dark and i was…i don’t know, man. seeing shit that isn’t there.” he picked at a spot on his arm, chewing his lip. matt nodded, studying his face. from the way carson was sitting, matt couldn’t see his black eye, and he was thankful.

“i get it. i thought you were him.” matt admitted, and he saw carson’s face shift. he shouldn’t have mentioned it, although, ryan was the only thing they could both think of right now.  
“could i just sleep with you tonight? i don’t feel safe by myself.” carson asked, guilt clear in his voice. matt could tell he didn’t want to ask, but he had no choice; he’d either dissolve into a panic attack, get no sleep, or both. matt nodded, hand gently touching carson’s shoulder. he felt carson flinch beneath him.  
“yeah, dude. of course you can.” matt shuffled aside, moving back the sheets so carson could get in. he crawled to the other side of the bed, snuggling underneath the covers and flopping onto the pillow. matt laid down beside him, the quiet of the room suddenly overwhelming. matt knew they were thinking about the same person. he let his eyes roam over carson’s face: pink lips frowning, dark, thick brows furrowed, jaw set. and one bruised, purpled eye, a ring of blood around his iris. it swelled with tears.  
matt watched the boy unravel next to him, bottom lip trembling and eyes desperate to blink away tears. matt shifted, lifting his arm as a sign of acceptance.

carson moved forward, grasping onto matt like he was his last and only option left, his body beginning to shake like a leaf. matt just held him close, skinny arms engulfing the boy in warmth. carson was sobbing, mumbling “i can’t stop thinking about it” or “it hurt so bad” or “i hate that fucking book,” all while matt held him and shushed his cries. carson was hiccuping and shifting restlessly in matt’s arms, and matt knew that carson wanted to be out of his body. matt hated himself, despised himself for not being there when carson had been attacked. he was out looking for new painting supplies, for christ’s sake, all while carson was being beaten and choked on the hardwood floor. matt couldn’t bear to think of it for more than 5 seconds or he’d start feeling his chest tighten and his eyes water.

it wasn’t like it was his duty to protect carson at all times or something like that, but knowing that he could’ve stopped all that trauma made matt curse himself. he was so stuck in his head that he hadn’t even realized carson had cried himself to sleep. matt peered down still the boy, brushing his bangs away from his eyes, wincing when he saw the cuts and bruises. he ran his thumb over the skin by a few centimeters, examining them. despite the crying fit that carson had just gone through, he looked extremely peaceful now that he was resting. his eyelids would flicker every now and then, but other than that, he looked like he was in bliss. compare that to last night when matt woke up in a cold sweat to carson screaming his head off.

maybe sleeping with matt was the right solution. matt didn’t mind it at all either. having carson in the same bed, in his arms and sleeping soundly, matt felt like carson was truly protected. this was matt’s way of making up for what he could’ve done, atoning for all that pain carson had gone through. matt would stay up all night if he had to, to keep carson safe. it’s not like he’d be getting much sleep anyway, since every time he closed his eyes all he could see was ryan hunting him.  
so, he held carson close in his arms, kissing his temple, and stared up at the ceiling, listening to the ac hum. he had a job to do.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed!! if u have any questions or want to know more about my au send me an ask on my tumblr honeybunwatson :)) please leave feedback!! i love y’all <3


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